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Trust your instincts. If your
gut tells you that abuse is coming, pay attention.
Below are some suggestions that may help ensure your
safety, but you should use your judgment about what
will work in your situation.
How an abuser can discover your
internet activities. Ways to keep your time on the
internet private from the American
Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence.
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Let
a safe person know what is happening and
what you would like them to do in an emergency.
You may want to give them a code word or phrase
that can signal that you need help.
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Store
money, keys,
medication, birth certificate, identification,
social security card, green card and/or other
important documents, clothing, and anything else
you may need at a friend's, a family member's,
at work, in a car trunk, or another place your
batterer will not have access to. |
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Get
medical attention for
any injuries you or your kids you may have. Besides
making sure you're okay, medical records may
be useful in the future to document the abuse
if you should decide to get a restraining order. |
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Get
support for yourself and your kids (contact
friends, family, or one of the resources listed
on this site). You can call The Network/La Red
hotline at 617-423-SAFE (7233) for free confidential
support. You don't have to leave or want to leave
your partner to get support. |
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Get
a restraining order,
available free of charge at any court in Massachusetts
(or through the police after hours). A restraining
order can order the batterer to stop abusing
you, to leave the apartment/house, surrender
weapons and FID card, to compensate you for expenses
related to the abuse, and/or grant you temporary
custody and support for your children. In Massachusetts,
orders are available regardless of sexual orientation,
gender, age, or domestic partnership status or
whether or not you have ever lived together. |
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If
you want to leave,
you don't have to wait for something terrible
to happen. It's okay for you to go whenever you
want to or can. |
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Find
a safe place to stay (a
friend's, coworker's or family member's, domestic
violence shelter, The Network/La Red emergency
safe home, motel). If you need to get out,
but can't find a place to stay, hospitals and
airports are two places that are often open
24 hours.
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Change
your routines where
possible so it's harder to find you - i.e., your
work schedule, where and when you go grocery
shopping, do laundry, have medical/therapy appointments,
etc. If you can't change routines, see if someone
can accompany you so that you're not alone if
you run into your batterer. |
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Get
support. Trust
your instincts about who you can rely on to keep
your whereabouts and activities confidential.
It may be helpful to emphasize the importance
of confidentiality to those in your support system. |
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